As a Virgo I do a lot more thinking than the average person, a lot more beating myself up, and a lot more competing with myself to the point of madness. I’ve carried extra weight for the last 6 or 7 year, that came on quickly and stayed stubbornly. I became an obsessive ‘health guru’ killing myself with crazy workouts, eating kale in all forms, and posting every 30 seconds on Facebook about my progress. I’ve probably lost more friends than pounds in that time. I had an epiphany at some point and realized that I did not want my life focused on losing weight. I did not want to be known as the girl who tried to lose weight her whole life whether I managed to get thin or not.
“Here lies Gigi, the girl who tried to lose weight”
I came across a photo some years ago of myself when I was 19 years old, the first time I thought I was fat. I’m on the left. 😦 Seriously sad face, what was WRONG with my brain?? I remember constantly tugging at that top, pulling it down to cover my ‘fat’. I really started thinking about my mindset and how I thought about my body then and now. I also thought about my level of happiness then and now. I struggled through some major emotional problems and depression back then AND I LOOKED FINE!! Fast forward to now at 30-something years old (yeah yeah…age is just a number) and I’m happy and have my depression and emotional issues in check and I don’t look as good as I did back then but I LOOK FINE. So what changed besides the expansion of my waistline? My brain.
“Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself.” 1 Corinthians 6:19
My health is really important to me. It’s important that I take care of the body I’ve been entrusted with. And more selfishly it’s important to me that, that body not feel like doo-doo. My mental health is really important to me as well and obsession, even over healthy things, is not good for anyone. So I’m working on balance. I am not perfect, and this is something you will learn about me if you stick around a while. (It took every ounce of self-control I have to type doo-doo and not S#!T…one example of my imperfection) I use social media as an outlet, and a bit of a journal, and it’s hard not to post obsessively about <insert whatever I’m obsessing over at the moment>. I love motivating people, and setting a good example for good health, but it can’t be all that people see about me.
“Obsession with self in matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life.” Romans 8:6-11
God wants me to be healthy, but not obsessive. If I’m obsessing about my weight, then I’m not keeping my thoughts on Him and what he has planned for my life. He has a plan for me and I know he wants me to set an example for others of good overall health. So in this blog you’ll see a mish mosh of topics and whole lot of open honesty. You’ll hear about my food, my fun, my kids, my triumphs, and my failures. It may get ugly, but it will be real.
needalittlejesusinmylife 